Wednesday, April 22


Since the time we decided to start a family, I have had the mindset that life will magically start the day we have kids. We will finally be "complete," and all will be well. I don't think this was really a conscious thought I articulated out loud, and yet it is an underlying belief I have probably held for many years.

It is easy to continue thinking as I have for so long, that life cannot be complete for us without children, but what I have realized is I won't fully appreciate my own "family" as I lament over what I do not have. Also, I cannot love others well if I continue comparing my life to theirs.

I have been thinking of my extended family that has been entrusted to me daily, including children I am able to borrow and enjoy for a time, relatives,and rich and meaningful friendships. For today, these are my treasures. When I start thinking of family as only being defined by having children of my own, I tend to neglect what is right in front of me, and in spite of everything I enjoy, there is a false sense of not being complete. This is a sobering thought, as so much energy is wasted on these comparisons.

I am slowly concluding that no person or thing will complete me, and if I am holding out for that, I pity the person on whom I place that expectation. It would not be fair to them or to me. I do not want to minimize the deep desire for motherhood, and yet I want so badly to maintain a right and healthy perspective on today.


Lipi said...


I just want you to know that I love your blog's.Your blog always always makes me feel something. :)I wish you the best for your life.

Are you coming to Italy ? I have never been to Italy and desperately want to go.This month we'r planning to go Switzerland.:) Wish you a great holiday in Italy.

Anonymous said...

Well said, my friend! You are a gifted writer and I really enjoy reading the words from your heart.
Have a great trip!!

Brent and Darlene said...

Hi Lipi and Kim
Thank you for your comments and for following my blog! :)





Italy trip

I have been going through my pictures, and have enjoyed looking at this album of Italy. I was able to go over last year to attend a conference. This was the first time I have been back in twenty years. The pictures are made up mostly of places we lived as a family. My brother and I were able to go together, and we were graciously hosted by some friends of ours from language school in Perugia. I feel such a sense of nostalgia when I look at these pictures. I miss Italy so much. It was strange to go back as a tourist knowing I would be returning to the US after such a short time. Tonight I made cookies with Nutella in them, and I remembered how much I enjoyed the simple pleasures. Fortunately, you can find it here! Saturday, we are going up to my brother's house to celebrate a late Thanksgiving, only we will be making homemade tortellini instead of turkey. Happy Thanksgiving!