Monday, July 12

Tears and hope

Lately we have felt a peace about where we are, and have enjoyed our time as a" family of two."  Still I want to share an excellent power point presentation that a friend sent. 

This video helps explain what goes on in the hearts of those who are unable to have children specifically due to infertility. This powerpoint is a gentle reminder that for many couples, the subject of children is very delicate.  Here is the link:

We cannot have children due to a medical condition that I have, and yet I was able to relate in a deeply personal way to this presentation.  While I have known for a long time that it would not be possible to have biological children, my response has varied and continues to range from sadness to anger to acceptance and everything in between.    

During this season of life, I have felt challenged to stop dwelling on my pain and  to stop comparing myself to others.  In a world of virtual "relationships" where I am tempted to look at pictures of people with their children, hear about friends who are pregnant, or who have just had a child, I have to stop myself in my tracks and remember to look to God for my identity and the  joy that only comes from Him.   

This morning I read My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, and today's entry (July 11 if you have this devotional) was such a good reminder not to view ANY circumstance in our life as random.  Everything about the Christian life is a means of knowing God and becoming more like Him.  Those words were so refreshing to read, as they took me from a place of self-pity to wanting to really know Him even in the midst of painful circumstances.

Again, we have decided to wait until the beginning of the year to evaluate whether or not we will pursue an adoption.  We have discussed the possibility of foster care, or expanding our parameters to foster-to-adopt.  Our journey continues to unfold one day at a time, and through it, we grow in love and compassion for others.

I still continue to enjoy relationships with my nieces, nephew, and three God-children.  They are all gifts that I am honored to enjoy.



Kortney said...

Thank you for your thoughts and insight about the challenges we walk through are never by chance. That can be hard to remember in the midst of the dark days, but I know deep down that this Truth is real.

Darlene said...

Thank you for your comment, Kortney ~ I agree that it is hard on the dark days, and sometimes I find it is easy to read and write about this concept, but hard to wrap my heart and mind around it.





Italy trip

I have been going through my pictures, and have enjoyed looking at this album of Italy. I was able to go over last year to attend a conference. This was the first time I have been back in twenty years. The pictures are made up mostly of places we lived as a family. My brother and I were able to go together, and we were graciously hosted by some friends of ours from language school in Perugia. I feel such a sense of nostalgia when I look at these pictures. I miss Italy so much. It was strange to go back as a tourist knowing I would be returning to the US after such a short time. Tonight I made cookies with Nutella in them, and I remembered how much I enjoyed the simple pleasures. Fortunately, you can find it here! Saturday, we are going up to my brother's house to celebrate a late Thanksgiving, only we will be making homemade tortellini instead of turkey. Happy Thanksgiving!