Friday, June 14

Writer's block

After I spent a couple of hours writing and deleting from yesterday's post, I finally had an epiphany.  By that time, Justin was awake, so I couldn't do anything about it.  I love writing, but the glitch is that I have such a hard time coming up with topics, and I think I finally know why.

For one thing, I realized how much time I spend comparing my story to everyone else's.  Social media doesn't exactly help with that, but that is for another entry.  Secondly, I have spent some time reading my high school friend Anne's blog, and the thing I love most about her writing is her transparency.  She is honest about her life, not just when things are going well, but with the messy parts as well.  Reading her blog is like sitting down to coffee with a real friend, not someone who wants you to think their life is always perfect.  As I think about the friends in my life I am closest to, they are the ones who share their junk. They are the ones I enjoy listening to, not because they know it all, but because they desire true honest friendship, which means knowing and being known.  They have seen me at my worst, and yet they are loyal.

I crave depth and meaning in friendships, yet I fear vulnerability in my writing.  After months of not writing, and not knowing what to write about, I read over several of my entries, and the word I would use to define them is "safe."  And, well I am tired of playing it safe.  I just want to tell it like it is.

One of Anne's blogs challenged me to think about why I want to keep a blog.  For me, it is for my friends and family who know me, and love me for who I am, not for who I wish I was...

I have to close for now, but I will pick up where I left off tomorrow.

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Italy trip

I have been going through my pictures, and have enjoyed looking at this album of Italy. I was able to go over last year to attend a conference. This was the first time I have been back in twenty years. The pictures are made up mostly of places we lived as a family. My brother and I were able to go together, and we were graciously hosted by some friends of ours from language school in Perugia. I feel such a sense of nostalgia when I look at these pictures. I miss Italy so much. It was strange to go back as a tourist knowing I would be returning to the US after such a short time. Tonight I made cookies with Nutella in them, and I remembered how much I enjoyed the simple pleasures. Fortunately, you can find it here! Saturday, we are going up to my brother's house to celebrate a late Thanksgiving, only we will be making homemade tortellini instead of turkey. Happy Thanksgiving!