Identity

I have had some kind of flu bug going on four weeks now, and it has made it hard to get motivated to write, cook, or do much of anything. I am definitely not a good patient. When I am sick, everything pretty much comes to a halt. Feeling physically off tends to spill over into every other  part of my life, as well, so maybe that is part of the reason I have been feeling nervous about this new business venture.

I think today I have finally turned a corner on this sickness, though, and sleeping in until noon was extremely helpful in getting well. Despite feeling sick, I have not slowed down for long, and allowed my body to heal until today.

Now that I am feeling physically better, I am ready to jump back into my work of finding a client or two. That is all I really need for now, and I feel very confident that they will come at just the right time.

On a side note, in my quiet reflections this morning, (or, afternoon, since I was in dreamland this morning), I was thinking about identity, and how regardless of whether or not I have a successful business, my true self is not measured in that way. Others may judge me based on how "successful" I am, but I will not.

Oftentimes, it is too easy to judge ourselves and other people based on external things. Does that mean I don't want my business to succeed? No, not at all. I guess what I am trying to say is whatever happens, I am rooted in the woman God has made me to be, and not my performance.  I find this to be liberating.

Kind of along the same lines, I find self-promotion to be a big challenge. I was always taught to be humble, and to "let others compliment you, rather than bragging on yourself" This is a proverb from the Bible, which is  my guidebook for life. When you work for someone else, you don't have to worry about getting your name out there, and promoting yourself. However, in starting your own business, there is a need to prove yourself, and how great you are.  This is very counter-intuitive for me.

While I may sound stressed out about these things, please know I am not. For me, following this dream has been confirmed in so many ways, I believe it will happen. I may not know the "when and how," it will work, but that's okay. I pray daily for wisdom, and that God will bring me the right client. I don't want just any client. I want to have the right fit when  it comes to this job. I need someone who will want to grow with me, as I am still learning. I am even more excited about following this journey than I was in the beginning!